GL: Well, I see we all showed up after the long vacation. How did everyone’s holiday go?
E: I didn’t even watch TV the whole time. Why am I here?
Me: I watched football. Does that count?
GL: Was it football on DVD?
Me: O.o
GL: Then no.
You: *raises hand*
GL: Yes, You?
You: Um…I really really wanted to buy some new TV-on-DVD this weekend, but I didn’t.
GL: *sits forward* That’s excellent! Real progress! My thesis is secure!
E: *zeroes in* Your WHAT??
GL: Ahem. I mean…go on, You.
E: *glares*
Me: *glares*
C: *doesn’t notice*
You: I hate to disappoint, GL, but it wasn’t progress so much as…um…lack of funds.
GL: *blinks* Don’t follow.
D: She’s broke.
C: Do we have a new member?
All: *blink*
C: Who is She?
D: She’s You. Where have you been?
C: You’s right there. Who is She?
D: O.o
Me: O.o
E: *facepalms repeatedly*
GL: *blinks* Oooookaaaaay. You were saying?
C: I was saying that–
You: I was saying that it’s not progress from the group. I simply couldn’t afford to buy any more TV-on-DVD. I’m broke.
C: I still haven’t met I. Is She I?
E: *groans and curls into fetal position*
Me: C, there’s no “she”. It’s just a pronoun.
C: *looks terribly thoughtful* So we have THREE members I haven’t met. It, She, and I. Am I sleeping through these meetings, or what??
E: *sucks thumb*
GL: …
All: …
C: O.o
GL: …Well, I think this has been an extremely helpful session. We have measurable progress with one member–
You: *raises hand* Actually, I tried to tell you–
GL: –and everyone else has that lovely glazed over look that means you’re absorbing a large chunk of useful information–
Me: *snorts* Or a large chunk of bullshi–
GL: –so I think this is a great time to stop for the week. See you all again next session.
Me: Someone want to help me get E into his car? He’s…a little…broken.
